The Dumbest Thing I Almost Did

Alright, so it's obvious that I want to lose some weight (as seen in my 21 before 22 goals) and get fit. I have some other friends who feel the same way, and one of them has been very successful in this so far. She definitely helps me get motivated to eat better and work out more. Anyway, we were all talking at work (which I think I mentioned early) about losing weight, blah de blah, etc. My friend brought up how she wanted to do this three day homemade juice diet found here. I've always been pretty skeptical about these whole "detox" things, and they've always seemed pretty sketchy and dangerous to me (my boyfriend did the Master Cleanse for a week one summer at camp. He called me and he sounded like he was on his death bed. NEVER DO THE MASTER CLEANSE. NEVER.). But, I read through it and figured, "Heh, it doesn't sound so bad."

We decided yesterday would be a good day to go and get the supplies needed for it, and all day I felt apprehensive about it. I read article after article about the dangers of detoxes, juicing, success stories for this specific one, basically any information I could find. I was still feeling sort of uneasy about it until we went shopping. My friend got me all pumped up for it, and I was actually kind of excited. They had cheap juicers at Walmart and my friend decided right away to get one. I wasn't so sure, so we decided to get the rest of our stuff and I'd text Devin to see if we could use one. When he responded that we probably would use it again, I figured I'd for sure get it. Well, it was gone. There were two of them twenty minutes before, and now they were out of stock. HOW MANY PEOPLE SERIOUSLY BUY JUICERS ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT IN A SMALL NORTHWESTERN WISCONSIN TOWN? Seriously?! Well, I was a little bummed, but I figured I'd just blend everything as smoothies.

The fixin's for the first "juice." Beets, yellow pepper, green apples, celery, broccoli, cucumber, carrots and lemon.

I decided to make this morning's smoothie last night so it would be ready to go in the morning. Well, I chopped. And chopped. And blended. And blended. And it was thick, and chunky and oh God the texture was horrible! There were little fibers in there from the broccoli and celery and they get stuck in the back of your throat. Not cool. I figured I'd suck it up in the morning.

Well, when I went to bed, this stupid smoothie haunted me all night. I had nightmares about this dumb thing. I'm not even joking. It was horrible. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach knowing that I was supposed to drink this, and not eat any solid food for three days. I got out of bed and took it out of the fridge, took a sip and nearly vomited. It was awful. It tasted like grassy peppers, with a slight hint of apple juice. And the little veggie fibers got stuck in my throat again. If you've ever had a fish scale stuck in your throat (simply awful experience, BTW), that is exactly how it felt. I drained it down the sink, feeling like crying cause I made this commitment to my friend and bought all this produce and stuff. Devin kind of reassured me that if I was feeling so awful about, that I shouldn't do it.

 So I had a multi grain waffle, some Chobani Greek yogurt, an apple and some tea for breakfast instead. And I feel great about it. The good news is I have lots of yummy produce to eat and cook with. So I don't feel too guilty. Plus my friend was very sympathetic this morning when I told her. We both agreed that the juicer is definitely necessary for this, and who knows? If the juicing thing makes it awesome, maybe I'll try it again. Maybe. But good lord, I am not putting in celery.
I hate celery.

NEVER PUT CELERY IN A SMOOTHIE. NEVER.

Alright, caps lock out, ha ha.
I hope everyone has a lovely day. :)

- Emily